by Shannon Lee
At work, I was the type to take screenshots of Teams messages and emails just in case they disappeared. It was like I made copies of everything I did, thinking I’d need evidence someday. It started as a simple precaution, but over time it became a habit.
When I went through my phone a few months ago. I realized my screenshots were taking up more space than anything else. That’s when I asked myself, Why do I do this?
Through some deep reflecting, the answer became clear. This habit didn’t start at work or even as an adult, it started when I was a child. No matter how much I told the truth, my mom would insist I was lying. The message was clear: She would never trust me, even if I was being honest.
As I grew older and faced new experiences, the need to prove myself only intensified. I found myself constantly preparing for disbelief, storing “proof” mentally and physically, and carrying a bunch of bullsh*t for absolutely no reason.
But here’s the shift I’ve discovered: I don’t have to do that anymore. I no longer need to fill my phone, or my mind, with evidence of my truth. I don’t need to prove myself to anyone. Letting go of that habit has been so freeing. I feel lighter, calmer, and more confident in my own reality. F*ck what they think. Believe it or not. Kiss my as.
Learning to stop proving yourself isn’t easy. It’s a process of healing old wounds, recognizing patterns, and giving yourself permission to just be. But once you start, the relief is incredible. There’s power in trusting your own truth and leaving behind the need for validation that never really belonged to you.
How Letting Go Helps
When you stop feeling the need to constantly prove yourself, it’s liberating on multiple levels:
- Emotional relief: You stop carrying the invisible weight of others’ disbelief. Your anxiety eases because you’re no longer preparing for someone to doubt you.
- Mental clarity: Without all that “evidence” cluttering your mind or devices, you can focus more on the present, your goals, and your own growth.
- Self-confidence: Trusting your own truth reinforces your inner strength. You learn that your reality doesn’t need validation from others. It’s valid because you lived it. F*ck with they “think.”
What to Expect and How to Handle It
Letting go of the need to prove yourself is a process, not an instant fix. Here’s what you might notice and some tips on handling it:
- Resistance from others: Some people may still challenge or doubt you. That’s okay. Their disbelief does not define your truth.
- Old habits resurfacing: You might catch yourself taking screenshots, saving emails, or overexplaining. When this happens, pause and ask: Do I really need this? Most of the time, the answer is no.
- Emotional waves: Feelings of insecurity or anger may pop up as you unlearn old patterns. Acknowledge them, journal if it helps, and remind yourself: your truth is enough.
- Gradual freedom: Over time, you’ll notice less anxiety, more trust in yourself, and a sense of lightness you haven’t felt in years. Celebrate small wins along the way.
Reflection Prompt:
Think of one area in your life where you feel the need to prove yourself. What would it feel like to release that need? How would your life change if you were to say, “F what they think?”
Your truth is enough. You don’t need anyone else to validate it.
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Have you ever felt the need to prove yourself constantly? What would it feel like to let that go?
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