The holidays can mess with your head in quiet ways.
Everyone talks about family, love, togetherness, and being grateful. Nobody really talks about the loneliness that creeps in when the noise dies down. The empty bed. The silence after the kids fall asleep. The urge to be held. To be seen. To feel wanted.
And that’s when it happens.
You meet someone. Or think about someone from the past. Or replay a brief interaction that shouldn’t mean much, but suddenly it does. Your mind keeps going back there, and you don’t know why.
This isn’t about judging yourself. It’s about staying sharp.
Because loneliness has a way of making the wrong person feel right in the moment. And I wanted my sistars to think clearly before they mistake comfort for connection.
Have you ever met someone and then couldn’t get them out of your head, even though nothing really happened? No relationship. No deep conversation. Just a moment. And somehow your mind keeps going back there.
Before you jump to conclusions, here’s the truth: it’s not always destiny. And it’s not always lust either.
Sometimes it’s chemistry. Your body recognizes something familiar. A voice. A presence. A vibe. That doesn’t mean anything is supposed to happen. It simply means that your nervous system has detected something.
Sometimes it’s boredom. Or loneliness. Or being in a season where your mind wants stimulation. Your brain grabs onto a person the same way it grabs onto a song and plays it on repeat.
And yes, sometimes it really is a deeper connection. A recognition you can’t explain. But those are rare, and they don’t rush you or confuse you.
The problem isn’t thinking about someone. The problem is letting your feelings dictate the story for you.
How to Calm It Down When It Happens
Slow your thoughts before you label the feeling.
Ask yourself what’s going on in your life right now, not what they represent.
Stay grounded. Eat. Move. Rest. Do something physical. Attraction gets louder when we’re tired or not grounded.
Separate curiosity from intention.
Thinking about someone doesn’t mean you need to act on it.
And most importantly, don’t give meaning too fast.
Not every spark is a sign, and not every pull deserves your attention.
Some connections are temporary.
Some are distractions.
And a few are real.
Clarity comes when you stop chasing the feeling and start listening to yourself.
💬 Let’s talk
Have you ever realized later that you were drawn to someone because of loneliness, timing, or boredom? What helped you snap out of it?
(Or just drop a 🖤 if this hit home.)
Black Sh33p's Corner 