I did not wake up one day and suddenly decide to “be spiritual.” This was something that followed me my whole life. I grew up gifted without having the language for it. Looking at my birth chart, personality, and the way I saw things as a child, it makes sense now. When you’re young, people around you might not understand you. It feels more like a problem than a gift.

My intuition was strong early on. I always sensed things before they happened. I always knew when something was off. I could read a room with ease. I feel people’s intentions long before they open their mouths. I did not call it intuition back then. As I got older, I realized those “feelings” were correct every time.

My intuition got louder in my early twenties. By thirty, I was meeting people who were wired the same way. That’s when I finally understood that I was not imagining anything. I was gifted.

I grew up with physical abuse, emotional manipulation, and being told I had something “wrong” with me. I heard things no child should ever hear. I survived things no child should ever go through.

When I started my healing journey, I had to confront the truth. My family didn’t know what to do with someone like me.

Although that doesn’t excuse what happened, it explains why I internalized so much pain, shame, and confusion. Spirituality became the space where I stopped blaming myself for the reactions and insecurities of other people. It helped me understand patterns, trauma responses, and why certain relationships in my life were so destructive. It gave me language for things I had been feeling my entire life.

I also learned that not everyone who hurt me was doing it out of pure evil. Some people were acting out of fear, ignorance, or their own unhealed wounds. Some acted out of religious conditioning. Some were repeating what was done to them. That does not make it acceptable, but it helped me stop personalizing it.

Spirituality gave me my voice back.
It gave me clarity.
It gave me a way to understand myself without judgment.
And it reminded me that my experiences were not random. They shaped the healer, writer, and observer I became.

Arcanum exists because I know what it feels like to revisit trauma without support, and gifts you don’t understand. This section of my site is where I share the tools and inner work that helped me rebuild myself. This private section of my content is intended for individuals who are actively looking to heal and grow.

Tap below when you’re ready to step into my inner world.